As I sit here in my room at 3am I find myself thinking about life, love and relationships. Of these things I'm constantly reminded of the fact that I am always doing or saying something to mess up my relationships. Whether they be friendships or more than that. I am consistantly ruining things for myself. It makes me wonder if I should stop trying to find happiness and comfort in people. I am perfectly happy with myself the way that I am, though I don't like my need for humanity. I need people around me to be happy. I will do pretty much anything in my power to keep my friends happy and living life to he fullest. I sit here 5 months into my newest relationship of substance and wonder what I will do this time to fuck it up. What horrible thing I will say or do to make him hate me as others do. He says that this isn't anything to worry about but he doesn't know me like I do. He hasn't been in my head or body when I've done the stupid things that I do. Oh yes, I am admitting that I do stupid things. I have never said I am perfect, nor will I ever. I am only human after all. Though I know the inevitable is lurking somewhere out there in the future I am giving this my all. Afterall, what in life is worth having that is just handed to you? Having to work and strive for something makes it all that much more enjoyable and worthwhile.

 

Okay, I'm done for today I think. Brain has stopped thinking properly. Again, if anyone actually reads this.....inevitable fuckwittage? or not?

don't be silly, friends are friends, and will be friends even if you do something stupid. Friends may tell you what they think of your choices, but they'll still be your friends

I'll tell you the same thing I told E.
If he loves you, then he can look past any stupid things you may do.

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